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ahhh.... shit.

None of my frickin fics are behaving themselves.
I try to write nice, straightforward porn held up by a barely-there lattice of plot and the fic twists and turns like a damned twisty-turny thing and I end up with fiction that contains too much plot (sometimes more than one plot at a time!) and characters that whisper amongst themselves and snicker and point and laugh at my pathetic attempts to get them to fuck. Sometimes they murmer about no-nudity clauses in their contracts.
I may have to kill them all and let god sort them out.

**

Happy New Year all, BTW!
I have been AWOC (absent without computer) for the whole of the holidays so I am very slowly catching up with my flist and fic comms. And with my non-cooperative porn.

**

Warren Ellis reworks the Laws of Robotics (http://www.warrenellis.com/?p=5426) *snicker*
Ah, man - so good. And would have made 'I, Robot' a much more interesting film; maybe then Will Smith would have been stomped like a bug by Sonny/fucked to death by Japanese bicycle perverts and could have been prevented from making the travesty that is 'I Am Legend'? One can only dream.

Dec. 7th, 2007

There is too much information in the world; too much to keep track of.

The proof?

 

I went to Forbidden Planet and now have in my hot little hand Warren Ellis’ debut novel Crooked Little Vein. It’s been out since July and I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW HE WAS WRITING IT!!!

 

I obviously haven’t been looking at www.warrenellis.com enough.

 

First sentence: I opened my eyes to see the rat taking a piss in my coffee mug

 

There is not enough squee in the world to express how excited I am about reading this.

 

***

 

I have been listening to Neutral Milk Hotel’s album ‘In The Aeroplane Over The Sea’ pretty much on continuous repeat for the past week and I’m still not tired of it.

They have done more and I must acquire them *nods solemnly*

*facepalm*

Kinda couldn't sleep again, so...

I spent a good deal of the night bookmarking Chad Michael Murray slash fics.

Christ, I have no dignity left at ALL.

Pimpy pimp pimp

EVERYONE has to go look at this post by silentflux 
(here) 

Seriously, it's hilarious and I may have to try and do a Primeval one. 

Dance for me fandom! Dance!!

He pimps them here, he pimps them there...

 A random pimpage post...

I wanted to recommend silentflux_recs to y'all. 
The links are sometimes from fandoms I don't know about people/character's I've never heard of, but they are pretty much always worth having a look at and I've been led to a couple of my favourite stories recently from here.

There's some odd one's as well - BtVS Giles/CSI Grissom anyone? Slash fic with John McClane from Die Hard? - but somehow they work. Ok, sometimes they make you worried for your sanity because you found that hot, but hey - you can't have everything and sanity's overrated anyway...

Tags:

Yay!

I have drugs!! Yey!
I also have lots of lovely Plastic!Winchester Theatre to look at AND writeatmidnighthas updated the amazing sick!verse!
Does life get any better than this?

Well, I could be a billionaire and be able to pay Chewetel Ejiofar to massage my feet and lick me all over, but otherwise - no. 

I may post a fic up later... no promises though.

.... nope, got nothing...

And, in a completely random, blathering post -

I want to have Charlie Brooker's babies. Despite the hang-dog, 'I have spent too many hours watching x-factor and similar shows for you people and I'm ready to just shoot myself to get some relief' looks.

Screenwipe is the best f*cking thing on television BY FAR!

Being able to snicker at the moronic shit that gets pumped out by any producer with access to a media channel without having to expand the precious brain-cells in actually watching the crap?

Genius.

Tags:

Just been musing on life, the universe and everything - 
or rather, my life, my job and the fact I'm so freaking bored at the moment I'm contemplating killing myself just for something to do.

The last time I was this bored in a job thoughts about burning the shop I worked in down so I wouldnt have to go in the next day started popping into my head. 
I quit the day I found myself looking at the gap underneath the fire-door and thinking "I could pour petrol under there from outside, stuff newspaper through and set fire to it. Then I could sleep in tomorrow"
If I could have guaranteed one particular arsehole of a colleague got trapped inside I might just have done it.

You know its time to leave when felony arson & murder starts looking like the sensible option. 

**

I was set on the path of thinking about boring jobs from reading notthequiettype's J2 AU/Clerks story 'The Incredible True Story of Two Clerks In Love'. So bloody funny - really, do read it (don't be drinking while you do though - you get that nose-snort thing otherwise. Not pretty)

And I suppose that's one good thing about this job - quiet office and desk with back to the wall + no checking of internet usage means I can read porn when I have nothing else to do...
 

EXTRA, EXTRA!

O My God, OMG!

For any of you who see this in time, and have access to Ch4 - 'Beautiful Thing' is showing at 2.05am - WATCH IT! Set your video, your Tivo, whatever, just watch it!

The most brilliant, lovely, sweet gay teenage love film you will ever see. Seriously.

Alfred, get me my Pimp Cane!

Just want to direct you guys over to  numb3rs_slash because entangled_now has posted a follow up to 'The Inappropriate Ass Fondling Gun Story' and you really should read it. 

Wet t-short and jeans Don. Come on, you know you want to. 

** 

I have no idea why my head went to a !Pimp Batman place for the subject on this post...
 

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