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Primeval S4:04 reaction post

Well, some combination of my computer and the itv.com site is determined that I’m not to watch the shows live so this had to wait till I could dl the file last night.

While waiting I passed the time reading cat!boy porn. You might want to keep that in mind when deciding how much credit to give my opinions.



Schools out for anomalies! School is also posher then any I went to. Is this a PFI build, we ask? And will it hold up to inevitable dinosaur wear and tear?

Are we hot for teacher, class? Mmm - yes, despite the horrid rugby jersey, I think we are. The lovely Irish accent helps. (“…no, of course we’re still in London. An area called Little Begorrah, don’t you know it?”) These kids are little shits. I think I like them :)

NOMMING TIME!!

What. the. fuck. is that in your living room, Matt? Do you produce modern art on the side? Is this your take on Marc Quinn’s work? Instead of the blood head of ‘Self’ we have ‘Blood Terrarium’?

Hi My Lady! Glad to see you are sensible and do NOT turn away properly when Matt is getting dressed. Eye candy like that needs to be appreciated. And Matt, we are now all imagining you in a skirt. (You look surprisingly good in it, btw)

(Brief aside: Matt’s poorly hidden distain at ‘tea’ makes me doubt his Irishness. You may be from the future or something Matt, but your research should have been better if you’re to make this role believable! THE IRISH HAVE TEA FOR BLOOD, MAN! Or at least all the ones in my family)

Abby, you look so good in that outfit (but you still look so tired, petal *worries about you*). CONNOR+JEANS+LOOK AT MY CROTCH BELT = nothing more to say there.

Connor, I have my doubts about your beloved Philip. Aaaand these are proven correct 30 secs later.

“Human error” – what a nice way of saying ‘The lovechild of a fuckwit and a retard could have come up with a better design’, Lester. Your diplomacy skills are impeccable. So is your suit *licks the screen till Ben Miller’s off it*.

Oh, Philip… you utter bastard…

Connor, there ISN’T more than one side to this, pet. And Abby is quite correct to be pissed off at you. (…ok, ok. It could be argued that being painlessly put to sleep is better than the in-the-dark psychological torture the animals are going through at the moment, but that is clearly not why Philip wants to do it.)

Becker gets Connor to heel like a dog. 9 million D/S plot bunnies prick up their ears.

My Lady is not Connor and does not stay like a dog, Matt. You should know better.

Oh, these kids. These kids! I want to squish them and pinch their little cheeks.
…and write nasty, insult filled, hate-sex porn about Hermione-does-Xfactor and the spotty geek while the cheeky one looks on. But we’ll ignore that part of my brain, yeah? (It's the cat!boy porn! It's corrupted me! *ignores fact she wasn't exactly pure to begin with*

I am diverted here by the fact that Connor is leading point and Becker is letting him. Becker was obviously never on board with the whole ‘Connor is just a lab geek’ thing but this shows he’s perfectly comfortable with Connor’s skills in the field. *approves*

Matt, Connor and Becker stalk the halls and I am diverted again. Just by the fact that OMFG THEY’RE ALL SO PRETTY! EYE-FUCKAGE! TOUCHING! I WANT THREESOMES AND I WANT THEM NOW!!!!

Connor, your arse is best though. I feel the other two should bite it.

I love it when they hand signal each other.

Cheeky!Detention spice, I don’t think you want to be doing that.

THIS WAS NOT THE DETENTION ADVERTISED IN THE SCHOOL BROUCHURE!!

Abby haz a cunning plan… *rubs hands with glee*

Geeky!Detention spice gets his rescue on. Connor gets his stalking geek on.

Abby unleashes her Jess corruption powers! Come on Jess, how can you say no to a plea like that? Think of the animals, Jess! Think of the mammoth! Think of the femmeslash potential of Abby owing you one! …wait. That last bit was meant to stay in my head…

TRAPPED BY OUR OWN COMPUTER HACKAGE! WORST DETENTION EVER!!!

Rest of the school doesn’t live up to the shiny promise of the main atrium. Definitely a PFI build.

Oooh… Is Hermione!Detention spice going to get NOMMED? Quick Jess! – you keep an eye on her and… watch her get eaten because you’re ‘keeping an eye on her’ through a fucking camera and there’s nothing you can do if she does get nommed. *facepalm* Matt, you twat.

(I honestly didn’t expect the kid to get nommed. Primeval 4 – edgier, darker and now with 100% more unpleasant deaths!)

Abs, you picked the wrong moment to call in that favour. Don’t blame Jess though – bambi-eyes has had a hard day *pats her*.

Hmm. Flickering lights. Matt’s gonna get jumped then. (Just once I would like a character to go into a creepy, atmospheric room like this and, after searching, find there’s nothing there and they just need to call the janitor to replace that light)

OF COURSE THE CREATURE WAS HIDING THERE, MATT!! BECAUSE IT’S FUNNY AND IT LETS US GIGGLE ABOUT THE FACT YOU’RE HAVING TROUBLE WITH YOUR BALLS!! YES, WE ARE MENTALLY TEN!!

Oh, yum. Matt’s quite nice when he goes caveman! Pity Becker wasn’t there to get turned on by it.

Croc-dog brought some friends, it seems.

Oh, My Lady – you are just gorgeous. I love the bustier you have on. And I will just appreciate the fact that Matt’s clothes fit you so well and ignore the fact they’ve suddenly become much tighter than he usually wears them.

Abby gets her emo on. (V good – if edging up to ham – acting from Hannah here) I am torn between thinking Abs is the ‘one’ Matt’s looking for and thinking she’s just too big a red flag/herring.

Lester has a light bulb moment! I hug myself in gleeful anticipation!

OH FUCK IT’S ETHAN THE RIPPER!! (thank you for that, halftime1030  – I can’t think of him otherwise now)

GO LESTER! SMACK PHILIP DOWN, SIR!! HOME OFFICE PWNING FTW!! *licks screen madly*

And we have more running through narrow corridors, blah blah. Cheeky!Detention spice attempts to stop a croc-dog by throwing a torch at it – think of the relative velocity and stopping power of that, love, it’s never going to work. I dunno, what are they teaching kids in school nowadays… (apart from ‘YOU WILL GET NOMMED’)

Though actually, their PE programme seems to be quite good. Nice sprinting there, boys.

Logic teaching… not so good. What is the fucking point of turning the water on? Just because some teenage boys treat water as though it’s deadly acid that will etch away their precious moodiness, that doesn’t mean all creatures are going to view it that way! If you get nommed let that be a lesson to you! *nods*

Becker goes into the croc-dogs den. (Are they just sleeping? Or, like, ill or something? Either way, why doesn’t he give them a quick shooting to make sure?)

Kids these days continue to be fucking stupid. “What’s that, Timmy? Geeky and Cheeky are trapped down a stairwell? Well, this is what we call ‘a learning experience’. They either make it or they get a Darwin award.”

NICE SHOOTING BECKER!! OMG, competent military behaviour is so fucking hot…

…but, oh shit. We’re going to need a bigger deep fat fryer…

Yes, Matt – there’s always time for a little quip. NOW GO SAVE YOUR BOYFRIEND!!

MATT! YOU ARE ALSO A PRETTY GOOD SHOOTER! Helpful when the creatures attack one by one though, isn’t it?

Is Connor going to BLOW SHIT UP? *oh, yes pleasepleaseplease* *What, me? A pyromaniac? How dare you! I’ve set people on fire for less, sir!*

(Though… all the chemicals just set out in the lab like that? Not accurate. Unless schools are much more trusting of their pupils than they were in my day) (And if they are – you lucky little bastards. We weren’t allowed a free hand with the good shit *sulks*)

Becker is hurted! NOOOS!!! DO NOT WANT!! But… it does mean we get h/c with Matt looking after him. *iz torn*

Ok. So Becker’s fading fast and his last words are “Matt, matt…”? *squints* Um. They are actually going to fuck at the end of this episode, aren’t they? Because COME ON!!

Becker, you hurt so very, very pretty. You do not want to *know* the perverted things I’m imagining about you right now. (note to self: possibly revive those ‘Becker is a pain slut’ fics?)

“There’s too many!” – THEN GET BACK IN THE FUCKING CUPBOARD, YOU ARSE!!

CONNOR!! Connor coming through the smoke like the BAMF he is!! Connor in a rioter scarf!! CONNOR WITH HIS GUN!!! UNFFFFF!!!!! *leaps into her bunk*

And everyone has a good chuckle, because having a severely injured colleague and being surrounded by stunned croc-dogs is an amusing situation, yeah?

*now obligatory Connor crotch shot*

Poignant music is poignant. Ah, Geeky!spice, now you’ll never get your end away…

Abby is upset *sad face*. And Monty is still doing that pacing thing. *sadder face* (Look, I’m more of an animal than a people person, ok?)

Philip: I changed my mind, Abby. Because Lester owned me like the little bitch I am.
Lester: Now say thank you, Philip.

Oh, Lester. I love how uncomfortable yet reluctantly happy you are at receiving hugs. *beams* (And this scene started me shipping Abby/Lester. Or possibly Lester/Monty)

I had… I had er, things. Whatsits. Words. Had words here but – ungffdgkjnhaiuegfnbg!!! SHIRTLESS BECKER!!!!! TATTOO!!! STOMACH!! THE SWEET CURVE OF HIS BACK AS IT LEADS TO THE SWELL OF HIS ARSE!!! UNDERWEAR!!! BLACK WIFEBEATER!!! GLFRVLKASDFGVNIKUASDGF!!!!!!!!!!

(The way he reacted to the leg jolt not exactly leading my thoughts away from pain!slut territory either. Just saying)

Becker is full of man pain. Jess, my sweet, you will never be the one he offloads onto. Give it up. (and what IS it with you and ridiculous shoes?! Those are the worst yet!)

Matt’s flat had, like, nothing in it. Come on, Matt – even when you’re searching for the potential destroyer of mankind’s future you can stop to get one or two nick-nacks! How about a snow globe? Or a nodding bird or something?

*sing-songs* Connor’s in the dog-houuuuse!

Matt discovers that – shocker – My Lady isn’t where he left her. (BECAUSE SHE’S BEEN KIDNAPPED BY ETHAN THE RIPPER!! OH NOES!!)

Next week:

Intrigue and legends and worms, oh my!

And CPPM is back! YAY!

 

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Comments

renne
Jan. 18th, 2011 06:05 am (UTC)
OMG THAT IS SO A++ MESSED UP. MOAR OMG.